just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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