Nicole vs. Life
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
