Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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