You don't have asthma, your pregnant
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
