I will die if light touches me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
