I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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