You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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