when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we have officially lost it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
