I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
