I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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