when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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