Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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