he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize