Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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