i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
