He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize