Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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