Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
