i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
