It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Too much gin, very little bucket
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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