i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
