My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
