Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
