Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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