Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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