im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
