She said her name was "party"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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