he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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