Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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