i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
