Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
