I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
