you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So many bounce houses so little time
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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