my vag is so smooth its legendary
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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