Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that