I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.