I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
