Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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