i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize