I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
