She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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