The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
