everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
