She said her name was "party"
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
