Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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