The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize