What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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