I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
