Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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