The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
