It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
