My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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