We're like a lot better than the average bears
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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