hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
