My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
