with your own penis?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
