Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
